Well, I guess I was right

Hi, I'm back to leve some more. I have just gotten into another breakdown again. Oh yeah! I have crying spells, huge bursts or long attacks of angst, my heart feeling as though it will shatter and unusual highspeed thinking. And I'm afraid because I know I'll someday have to leave my home... because that's what it really is... my home. Honestly I don't want to be anywhere else than beyond the four walls that always have protected me. I just want to stay. Please don't make me leave ever! Not even the OCD-Voice can ever make me leave. Please, when I die, let me die here. I haven't got a place in the whole wide world that is my home more than here and I can't live on without it. This means more to me than I ever could have imagined possible. It hurts me to think it can't last through my entire life. But I'm feeling so frail now and I don't know how much I can take before breaking once again. I've never been in love, I can't be happy, it's very very hard to feel sympathy, I'm always sad, I'm emotionally numb. That is why I need to be home, always.