Another monday

I know there is a monday in every week, but this doesn't make it easy. I'm so tired and I know I've slept all night. Honestly I don't know why I can't be rested. I slept all sunday and the night to monday. Now I still want to sleep. all time.I'm sick today and I'm tired of my father threatening me. Nobody has got the right. I start to wonder if I chose the right place to live at. Because it's just awkward and aweful to have to go through this. Tomorrow I'll have to do some kind of blood testing for my travel to the hospital in umeå. I don't really feel like going with my father, so I'll probably have to make it so that I can go alone. I just can't go through this an these trips aren't ever what they should or used to be. I'll just try to convince him that I take the bus alone. I've had enough of having to be some kind of extention to someone else. I just can't take it. The thing is that wherever I go I have to follow tight with someone. I'm no possession! I'm my own and I'm aighteen years now, not fourteen! I'm blind, not stupid! It seems as though some people from here thinks that it's the same, but that's a misunderstanding. Sure, there are blind people that can't navigate streets or even rooms, but I'm not one of them. I won't be accusing anyone, but it's as though they expect me not to be able to find my way. Another problem seems to be that some thinks that if one blind they have been doing things with is one way, I should be like that too. This sounds wierd to me, because we are people, too. We are different. I remember someone at balder being all obsessed with me being like a blind guy that had been there before. "Do you expect me to be like him?" I asked. "We blind people are different. You can't expect me to be like that just because he was!" I was really upset. Anyway I have tried to record some today, but it was kind of bad. I just don't know. But now I know the secret with cluttered vocal chords. Just drink water and it will be gone. Lemonwater will sometimes do, but be careful. Also, avoid chocolate. It should be pass at least three days before a performance without chocolate. Also, don't drink to much milk on the performance day. I hav sung for an entire school, so I am learning. I'll try to write more up to date in the future. I am already worrying for the next christmas. I miss how it used to be. All the peace and happyness is gone. Maybe this is just how I experience it, but the three last christmass have been without feeling. Well, I've got Vendela, a puppy that I'll soon be able to get, in my bed here. She is lovely. I'll have a photograph of us together soon.