Slow summer

Summer, summer, summer! Usually asosiated with children playing in the playground, people wearing light clothing and all sorts of joy like for example biking. For me ssummer has been awkward. I'm just tired and then I can't sleep. Things are upside-down or maybe downside-up. No, I liked upside down better. It made more sence too. But the summer has been great, too. My brother whom I haven't seen in about seven or eight years ago has been here and I have been going to my favourite place. It's so lovely swimming there and the waterslide is just amazing. Amazing is the only way for me to describe it. Vitbergsbadet is an experience ffrom my childhood and although I remember getting scratches from the metal thing between some beams somewhere I've got tons of good memories from that place. I almost totally opened up for three days. It was the old me, the one who is true Zandra, not Messed up Zandra with my mask. I was happy. The first of the three days I broke the steps to the porch on purpose. I was allowed to, because it had to be done. We were building a balcony. With breaking the steps I also broke a barrier and started opening up. The next day I was going to vitbergsbadet and the third day I went to Piteå aäventyrsbad. (for anyone who can't read swedish or norwegian characters ä is a with two circles... and a å is a a with one circle...) Anyway those were the best three days in a long time. I had to pay for that later I assume. I became exhausted all the way through my soul and I just couldn't wake up. I fell asleep all the time and I couldn't get out of bed. I don't know what happened, but it did. Now I realize that the summer has been boring but some days were the best I probably will have for a long time and I'll try to carry them with me. I have got a lot of deep sad memories and even though they can\t be erased some things might actually lighten them a bit. It doesn\t matter what it is if it\s something. I\m starting school in about three weeks, the twenty/third August. It might become intresting, but I am so incredibly scared that I might just fail. I'm a mess as it is already and I don't want to mess up more. Well, I am going to do the best I can with the last summer days. There's no point to think about bad days when there's still hope for good ones! I'll just try to get of bed and say Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
It's a perfect summer! plus I'll start school soon.